FOOD SUCKS

UGH i promised myself i wouldnt eat today. i went like 18 hrs and felt so great!! but at lunch i gave in to fucking 220 calorie cheese crisps... then i got home from school and ate TWO boiled eggs 5 tortilla chips and two BITES of chili. I SUCK not only that but i have Church tonight, which means food and lots of it. I usually eat alittle super then eat every fucking desert there! i know if i can deny the sweets today could still possibly be considered a 'good day'. i lost 2 lbs in 3 days... unfortunately the same 3 ive been gaining and losing for two weeks. I got down to 133 and now im back up to fucking ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SIX POUNDS i mean im MASSIVE. i guess your wondering how tall i am... like 5' 8'' and a half of 5' 9'' not too sure. i bet i do sound like i have and ED... but not really my mind isnt TOTALLY consumed by it. i just cant tell anyone so i put it here!